Week 1 — 8/17 — Pilot: Beans Before Keys

Episode Banner: Cold Open: We debut in Omega Manaforge to the sound of grumbling: “I’d rather be in keys.” The Bean Ethos is established: if it isn’t beans, it’s garnish.

Highlights:

Cast rolls in: beartastic (a lowly druid), shadobe (DPS/healing shaman; mortal enemy: shedebe), bigddbezos (warlock, currently cloakless), udderbitter (warrior), kez (tank), and a panda (mysterious, adorable, probably dangerous).
Raid chooses beans and keys over the sanctity of main raid. Spirits high; sodium higher.
bigddbezos cannot traverse critical gaps without a cloak; raid performs emergency bean‑powered portage.

Warlock character standing at the edge of a catwalk unable to cross without a cloak * We shoulder, summon, and scoot our way to Dimensius. Pre-final pull: bigddbezos burns the only B‑Rez, producing a legendary wipe. Next pull: clean execution—Dimensius (Normal) down. * beartastic repeatedly "bark skins" shadobe even when absolutely nothing is happening; shaman remains the safest being in Omega.

Wipe of the Week: "The Flightless Warlock" (Genus: Lack‑of‑Cloak‑icus). Habitat: manaforge catwalks. Behavior: meeps, requests summons, is carried like premium luggage.

Honorable Mention: The Dimensius B‑Rez Incident — bigddbezos spent the only battle res and the cosmos laughed; the real kill happened on the next pull.

Quotes Out of Context:

“I’d rather be in keys.” — everyone, at once
“Beans are a performance‑enhancing… vegetable?” — someone with 3 stacks of spice debuff
“Anyone got a cloak? Asking for a Bezos.” — raid chat

Mini‑Awards:

Golden Ladle (carry of the night): Kez, for tank‑muling and morale.
Refried Wipes (most deaths, still smiling): bigddbezos, grounded hero.
Chili‑Con‑Carry (biggest clutch): The summon squad, for repeated rescues.
Spilled Beans (funniest reveal): We officially prefer beans to any other food.

Lessons Learned (3 max):

Bring a cloak. Beans are not a mobility cooldown.
Keys discourse fuels DPS but not footwork.
Dimensius falls to teamwork (and legumes).

TL;DR: First footsteps in Omega; beans > food, keys > decorum, Dimensius (Normal) down with one very portable warlock.